Fire & Earth

Astrology in India is a pretty big deal. It informs marriages, is the connected to major holidays, and guides people in their understanding of themselves. India doesn't stand alone in its import of astrological derivations, many ancient cultures including those from the Far East and South America have deeply rooted beliefs and and well-articulated sciences related to astrology.

I have been reflecting on my own astrological signs a lot lately, mostly out of curiosity to see if there are in-fact parallels between our signs and ourselves, and also to understand other friend's self-perception/definition. Being born on 24th August apparently has me neatly situated between two, quite polar signs: leo-virgo; lion-virgin; outspoken/deeply internal; spontaneous/meticulous. The list goes on.

Part of one's astrological sign is a reflection and resonance with particular elements of nature. For Leo, it's fire, and for virgo, its earth. Lately, I am in-love with the artist/comic/illustrator, Yumi Sakugawa. Here are two of her illustrations: fire sign and earth sign. In earth sign, she beautifully captures the pace of growth and learning, the connection between humans and the environment, and the truth in trusting our feet.

In fire, Yumi highlights the exact opposite quality of change - seemingly instantaneous, irreversible transformation. Her words 'i don't want to forget the difference between solidity and air' situate the human experience within a scorching, blink-of-an-eye moment. To me it speaks to retrospect and makes me look back on the different phases of my life: infancy, childhood, teen years, young adult, and almost-a-real person (my current phase). Yumi just depicts these as physical phases: solid & vapor.

 These illustrations draw out some lessons, thoughts and feelings that are rolling around my mind&heart these days.  With a new moon coming, I feel clarity is on the way. 

I guess India has successfully converted me.


























please see more of Yumi's work, 
on her website, and lots here.

delhi

  i love delhi for:

     

it's flavors.

     

the endless learning.

the monumental and the mundane.

 

the unexpected harmony.

 

the life & death.

the curbside haircuts.

 

it's hard workers.

 

the way it makes me push myself.

    

  

my great friends.

happy valentine's day!

i have found what you are like




i have found what you are like

the rain

             (Who feathers frightened fields

with the superior dust-of-sleep. wields

easily the pale club of the wind

and swirled justly souls of flower strike

the air in utterable coolness

deeds of gren thrilling light

                                        with thinned

newfragile yellows

                           lurch and.press

--in the woods

                        which

                                  stutter

                                           and

                                                 sing

And the coolness of your smile is

stirringofbirds between my arms;but

i should rather than anything

have(almost when hugeness will shut

quietly)almost,

                      your kiss


e.e. cummings

धीरे धीरे रे मना, धीरे सब कुछ होय 

माली सींचे सो घरा, ऋतु आये फल होए 

slowly, slowly oh mind, 

everything in its own pace happens

a gardener may water a hundred buckets,

[but] the fruit only arrives in its season

- कबीर (Kabir, کبير‎) [c. 1440 - c. 1518]

'uppar-nitche, aage-peetche'

up-down, front-back/ahead-behind

Another week. Delhi feels simultaneously close to 'home' as I, the globe nomad, could feel and also indisputably strange like planet Mars. The foundation for the remarkably easy parts of the transition back to madland is the wealth of relationships I have here. Funnily, I didn't realize how many great friends I have or how many interesting people also want to get to know me. I've started crossing paths with friends or acquaintances, which gives Delhi a 'homey, small-town' feeling that I'm enjoying before it gets too nosy. (Hindi tangent ... one of my favorite nicknames is 'nakoo', 'little nosey one'.. definitely good dog name.)

And Delhi is happening! Yes. I mean it, its actually a pretty chill place to be. Within one week, I went to an acro-yoga class, saw a contemporary dance recital on sexuality, watched a play, climbed up boulders in a forest reserve, attended a design festival, went night jogging through terrain laden with ancient monuments, and probably a few other things. This is all on top of going out to the Sewing New Futures center in Najafgarh and working freelance.

That being said - India is, unsurprisingly, blowing my mind. Not only in a good way.

Today I spent some time with a little girl, about 14 years old who was terribly beaten the night before for spilling some milk. Roshini's* (light) left eye was a blistering, taught black-and-blue ball, and her entire arm down to her hand was swollen to the extent that her bones are most likely fractured, if - that is - nothing is broken. Roshini greeted me with a smile and apologized for not being able to work well today because she couldn't hold a needle and thread.

When someone stands before you in this state, you at once see the person, and then its as if a haunted memory clouds your eyes. I suddenly imagined the actual scene of violent abuse that would have needed to take place in order for this little girl to become so badly wounded. We talked. Her father beats her, her husband beats her - yes, she is married and 14 years old - and her brothers sometimes hit her too. Mom? She left on account of the fact that 'Vo bhi mar khathee thee' .. she also used to 'eat beatings'.

The other night I had a horrendous dream, and all though it preceded this event, in many ways it foreshadowed the crux of this story. The main challenge I faced in the dream was coming against violence that at this point, in this capacity, I can do nothing about. What should we have done in this situation? Go to Roshini's house and explain kindly to her abusive family that they just simply cannot beat her if she takes 2 minutes extra to fetch something from the market? Should we go to the police who may do any number of useless or detrimental things (i.e. beat-up Roshini's dad who might then really assault her, or the police may ask for bribes to do nothing).

In any case, the light from this experience is truly feeling that SNF's work is purposeful. The scale is impactful. And the determination of the girls and women involved is inspiring. Tomorrow, I will make the two-hour journey back to the urban village on the outskirts of Delhi. I'll begin supporting the field staff to carry out monitoring and evaluation work and constructive, ownership-focused quality control.

Taking a sweet breath of appreciation for life, for my life, and potential,
I say, 'acche sapno dekho, sab log'.

sweet dreams, everybody.


*name has been changed

Starting with SNF

I am back in India, much more re-charged than I thought I could be. My work over the coming months will focus on quality management and tracking skill development. I am working with my friend, Kristin Braddock, and her inspiring social enterprise Sewing New Futures, and other volunteers, field managers, aunties, and didis. My aim is to set up a simple monitoring and evaluation system for SNF, and ensure that the field workers feel confident about updating and cataloging this information on their own. Thanks to Kristin for reaching out to me for this. Its so great to be working on a small-scale, deep-impact project for girls who would otherwise be forced into prostitution.

Here it goes.

Aastha, distance M&E officer; Kristin, entrepreneur/friend/boss/sunshine beam; me 

Field site in Najafgarh, outskirts of Delhi, India

OCI: The New Species

Stranger 1: are you an indian?
OCI: yes, a little.

Stranger 2: are you a hindu, muslim, or christian?
OCI: I .. I am anika.





I am part of the flock of a new international species that is confusing locals, government officials, employers, and bankers across India. The emerging group of 'Overseas Citizens of India' are not Indians, are Indians, or were Indians. We are Indians who are properly from India and just live abroad (overseas), or we have Indian heritage (that makes us 'Citizens'?).


Here are some of highlighted experiences of being part of the new breed of OCIs:

Infinite Visa: I have a 'lifelong' visa to India - sort of. Border control officials have managed to maintain a staunch business approach to the lifelong visa. The visa doesn't expire, but every 10 years one's passport does. So, when you are suddenly on your last month of legal international travel, you will also be scrambling to re-apply for your OCI card which conveniently never expires but obviously needs to be renewed with your passport.

No registration: Many visitors to India need to register with local officials. You can either be lucky and be an American, for whom registration is only obligatory after a few months (I think), or you get the really really short end of the stick and be from Pakistan, and need to visit the local police depot on a daily basis or risk expulsion from the country.

Work, Live, Play: The best thing for me is that I can work here. Americans who want to work in India need to get paid a commensurate rate to US salaries. This law is meant to protect Indians who are skilled and want top jobs, and is also meant to support Americans who will probably eventually go back to the states and don't want to be broke.

Some frustrating elements:

Banking: the majority of banks want to exploit this new class of Indians & sort-of-Indians who are bringing in remittances, savings, and taking out loans. But most banks have not really clarified the paperwork for OCI accounts, largely because the Indian Government has said that OCIs are classified as Persons of Indian Origins (PIOs), but have some different benefits. Its the square is a rectangle but a rectangle is not a square issue.

Needless to say, when I went to the local bank with the OCI-account forms found on their main website.. they had never seen them before, and it took 3 trips for them to acknowledge the credibility of their own paperwork.

Culture/heritage/identity: If you are Indian, you should know the culture, language and norms. Thats just the way it is. Since I don't, I am often embarrassed to admit that I am Indian, and have to go into this long and toppling explanation of my birth-place, schooling, mother's linguistic abilities, and so on.

But!
Above all, being of 'Indian origin' and having the ability to live and work here has been a tremendously fulfilling experience. I love going to Hindi classes and finally being able to speak with my grandmother. I love eating with my hands - soupy food or solid, wet or dry, spicy or.. ultra spicy. And I feel that I can understand my dad better by living in the world he came out of.

Going back to one's roots is a beautiful thing.

What are yours? Do you know? What do they mean to you?

keep exploring!

-----
Lots of love,
:ani